You can easily recognize when one of your friends is being too hard on themselves. But it's a bit harder to self-diagnose...
Recently read an article by Christian Jarrett on self compassion which got me thinking.
"Self-compassion is not to be confused with self-esteem. This isn’t about having a big ego. People high in self-esteem tend to respond to failure by blaming factors beyond their control — this can help them deal with the disappointment but it’s not so useful from a learning perspective. By contrast, people high in self-compassion are honest about their own short-comings and contribution to failure, but they don’t beat themselves up for it. Rather, they comfort themselves, they recognize failure and mistakes as part of life, and they see the situation as a chance to grow".
At Sussex Psychology Services working in both Child Therapies and Adult Therapies we often find this concept and adoption of self compassion to be one of the most effective tools in changing how we relate to ourselves in a competitive world.